12/25/06

How Can I Be Changed? (Part 2)

Prayer/Fasting

Now for Part 2 of our How Can I Be Changed Series. In Part 1, we explored the first steps necessary to make a true change, which are reflected by our own personal attitudes. In order to change, we have to be 1. Willing; 2. Able and 3. Submitted to God. After making sure our hearts and minds are up to this task, we can move on to the next step:

1. Prayer and Fasting

No one said this would be easy. As mentioned in the previous article, Jesus clearly told us that some conditions are only healed through prayer and fasting. Your true change REQUIRES prayer and fasting.

Here's how to make it easier: think of God as your Therapist. Someone who is willing to give you His undivided attention. Someone who is willing to listen to you 24 hours a day. It doesn't matter how long ago something happened or how insignificant it appears to anyone else - He's interesting in hearing all about it.

Once you begin to see the availability and access offered by God, it will become easier to spend time with Him in prayer. So many times we approach prayer as a ritualistic, unwanted task instead of the heart-to-heart fellowship it could be. God is not only our Lord, but also our Comforter. Talk to Him. He wants to listen.

Re-live with Him the things that are bothering you. Spend time with Him as you begin to explore deeper what happened, why you think it is such a big deal and even begin to dig deeper into the origin of this type of pain in your life. Why do you think this bothers you so much? When was the first time you felt this type of pain? Journal if you need to or take a break to re-order your mind.

You may hit a blank wall initially, but you'll be surprised at the old experiences that will come up and remind you of why you are so self-conscious (you were teased as a child) or why you can never get a date (you felt rejected in your early years). And - most importantly - instead of running away from this memory, re-live it. Remember once and for all why this hurt so much. Recall what was said to you and what you did or said in response. Cry if you need to. Laugh if it's appropriate. But face it - honestly, openly, without condemning yourself for your response or allowing your hurt or embarrassment (or humiliation) to overwhelm you. Ask God to show you how that experience shaped you. Think deeper to see what you've learned from that experience. Acknowledge that it happened, but that you don't have to accept its negative outcome. Remind yourself that you are no longer that person. That the other person no longer has any power over you. That you are still free to be the whole, healthy person you deserve to be. And that they or that event don't have the right to impact who you are today. And prepare to be free of it.

This process may take a little time (and you may find a whole host of 'incidents' to re-live). That's okay. You've got time. You want this to be behind you, right?

Also, feel free to engage a professional to help you. Find a local psychologist or psychiatrist through the yellow pages or through your local church. Or, if you can't afford to pay someone, find a counselor at your church or a support group of some type. You might also find that an online community can provide you with the emotional support you need.

During this time of 're-living', you will also need to fast. Why? Because you will need help getting delivered of some things and many of those things can only accessed after you spend time fasting. Don't make it too complicated - in this case, fasting is primarily a way for God to reach you and for you to hear Him. Food and the cares of life are so consuming in and of themselves, that you will need to put those things aside for short periods of times to focus on what God may be saying to you. Try to make your life as distraction-free as possible and devote some time to quiet time, meditation and solitude. If you've never fasted or spent time in meditation, now is a good time to start!

Most importantly - don't rush this process! It takes as long as it takes. You may have a period of time where you will spend a few hours or a few days thinking things through. And it may be another year or two before you discover new things that need to be addressed. Just go with it. Don't resist those feelings and don't run away. This is very important to your healing process.

After acknowledging the things that are bothering, re-living those root experiences, spending time with God through prayer and fasting and hearing what God has to say about those experiences, you are ready for the final step in this process: letting go. How do you let go? For me, it's easiest for me to visualize that problem dissolving into a whirlwind and being whisked away from me. I watch it disintegrate piece by piece and lose its shape, form, and ability to impact me. You can also 'let go' by verbally telling God that this problem is no longer yours - you are releasing it to Him and will not worry about it any longer. But easier said than done, right? But it is possible.

Ultimately, letting it go means that you will no longer puzzle over it, try to figure it out, or continue to re-live that incident over and over. It also means no longer talking about it (or, at least, not so much), and - most importantly - not allowing it to influence your thoughts or actions any longer. BUT YOU CAN ONLY GET TO THIS STAGE AFTER YOU'VE FULLY DEALT WITH IT. By praying about it, exploring it and resolving and being delivered of any outstanding pain or emotions associated with it. Otherwise, you won't ever be able to let it go.

Next time, we'll talk about the restoration process.

Be Blessed!



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