Conflict Resolution for Christians (Part 1)

How do you handle conflict as a Christian? What are some good strategies to use to lessen the pain, drama and anger associated with them? Read on to find out how to handle the next conflict that makes an appearance in your life.

Conflict occurs for many reasons. Differences of opinions, miscommunication, daily stresses and the like. All very ordinary, every day reasons. But the fallout from conflict is anything but ordinary. Increased stress, poor health, aggravation, bad attitude and long-term resentment. You don't want that, right? So let's figure out how to navigate around those potential negative outcomes.

Expect Conflict!

First of all, you will be better prepared to handle conflict if you expect it! As my Pastor says, any time you have two people together, there will be conflict. So, it's not just a matter of if conflict will occur, but when it will occur. And now that you know it will be coming, you can prepare yourself! I mean, nobody likes conflict, but what will make it easier is your acceptance of the fact that it's inevitable. As Christians, and as human beings, we are all very different. We have different opinions, different ways of expressing ourselves, differences in leadership styles, abilities, aptitudes, moods and temperaments. While our differences can make us function stronger as a body, they also leave us open to the potential for conflict.

Conflict is Good!

Here is the good news about conflict - it's a good thing! Why is that, you ask? Because conflict helps us to clear the air. It forces us to iron out our differences and it can lead to a new or better understanding of a problem or a situation. Let's say you just got into an argument with your boss because he is giving you more work to do when you are already pulling double shifts trying to get the work you've already assigned to you done. You get angry at your boss and (professionally, of course), tell him why you think that it isn't fair. You let him know that you have been doing the work of two since one of your co-workers left and have also taken on additional responsibilities in another area. You talk it out with him and he ends up cutting down your workload by re-assigning some of your duties to another person. How did conflict help in this situation? By making your boss aware there was a problem. You were able to clear the air, get some relief and maintain your professional poise and sanity. Without the conflict, the situation would have continued just the way it was. You - overworked and resentful. Your boss - delegating and unaware. Conflict is a good thing.

It's Not About You!

The other good news about conflict is that the person with whom you are experiencing the conflict is not really mad at you! And though he or she says that you are the problem, you are in fact, not. Let me let you in on a little secret of what goes on in a person's head when that person reacts to something - that person is really mad at himself or herself, tired, overworked, stressed out, fearful, distrustful, fatigued, short-sighted or just unaware. A person getting upset with you is much more a reflection of who they are then who you are. Think about it - if you are having a great day in a great life in a great world, how likely are you to get mad at a driver who cuts you off in traffic? But, if you are having a lousy day, in a lousy week with a lousy home life, what do you think your response would be to that same situation? People who are really happy don't engage in unnecessary or spiteful conflict. It is those who are the most unhappy who take that unhappiness out on other people. And, as my Pastor always says, hurting people hurt people. It's as simple as that.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Self-Help, Conflict