Conflict Resolution for Christians (Part 2)

Here's how to handle that conflict in your life:

Don't Let It Go Too Deep

Now that you are armed with the knowledge that you must expect conflict, that conflict is good, and that it's not about you, you are better prepared to deal with any conflict that comes your way. And, in that vein, you must also remember not to let any conflict get too far underneath your skin. After all, you know it's coming, you know it's not a reflection of how good or bad a person you are and you know that it is a good opportunity to clear the air, so try and face it with the most positive attitude of which you are capable. Truly be open to listening to what the other person is telling you. Be objective - be concerned, but don't let their words, their attitude or the actions cut into your own heart. It says in the Bible that you must guard your heart with good reason. In any conflict, you truly are fighting an enemy and that enemy is not the person engaging you in conversation. Our enemy is Satan and we don't fight him by being negative, harsh, retaliatory or angry. We fight him by being positive, thoughtful, careful and alert. That's why you must enter into the conversation, hear what the other person is saying, but never lose sight of who you are - a child of God.

You are Still Who You Are

It's important now for you to remember that you are a child of God because the enemy wants you to think of anything but that in the heat of an argument. He wants you to get angry and respond angrily to the person you are talking to. He wants to tear down and destroy your relationship, your friendship and, ultimately, your peace of mind. Think of the mileage he gets out of you when you get angry at someone, say hurtful things to another person, or bottle up your anger and resentment at that person on the inside. Stop it! Stop it right now! Remember that you are still the person you've always been - nothing anyone says or does to you will change that. Remember who you are and stand in it! You are not someone who points the finger at someone else or calls that other person names or walks around being unforgiving towards someone else (and if you are, that's what you need to work on next!) You are not the type of person who holds on to a grudge, puts someone down or gets easily offended. You are a child of God! Stand up Child of God and remember who you are!

Resolve, resolve, resolve!

After you have listened, after you have talked, and after you have taken time to understand that other person's point of view (and that person has hopefully understood yours) it's time to resolve, resolve, resolve! And before you point out what that other person did wrong, remember - it's not up that other person to make things better - it's up to you!

The Bible calls on anyone who has 'ought' against his brother to resolve that problem. And it also says be ye angry and sin not. In other words, it's not a sin to be angry, but it is a sin to engage in behavior that perpetuates that anger. The Bible also says that you are to forgive others as God has forgiven you. And, if you really feel like you have a right to stay angry, just take a moment to remember the hundreds of times you fell down, made mistakes or were rebellious and God forgave you. All the promises you made to God that you would do better and the hundreds or thousands of times you did not. You acted up, you were rebellious, you didn't do something God asked you to do, or you fell on your face, yet God forgave you. But, for some reason, today you think you have the right to stay mad at someone else. It doesn't work that way. And it's not about what's fair and what's not - it's about doing what God has asked you to do concerning conflict resolution. So, be obedient and do it! Resolve that problem, situation or argument. And, if you still have a problem with it, remember the benefits connected with such behavior - a continued relationship with that person, peace of mind, blessings from God, development of a Godly character and the development of more fruit of the spirit in your life.

So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of conflict, take a deep breath, listen and pause. Remember that you already expected conflict, that conflict is good, that it's not about you, that you are not going to let it go too deep, that you still are who you are and that you are going to take responsibility in resolving the dispute. Okay? Ready, set, resolve!


Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Self-Help, Conflict